By Cllr Judith Holt (St. Alban’s Ward)
For someone to be violated and abused by a stranger is shocking enough; to suffer violence and abuse at the hands of someone you know and thought you could trust, in your own home - somewhere which should be a place of safety and security - is doubly appalling. So, naturally there needs to be sufficient and appropriate refuge accommodation for mothers and children in Havering. However, we must not be gender-blind to the problem and we need to acknowledge that men, too, can be victims of domestic violence and abuse.
Abuse of a psychological nature especially can be perpetuated equally by either gender. A few months ago, I watched a television programme showing the domestic abuse suffered by a man at the hands of his wife over a number of years. Although some was physical, most was psychological, including making the husband terrified of losing his children. Eventually, he found the courage to tell someone and escape from the situation. However, as disturbing as the programme's content was that it created barely a murmur of reaction in the media. Why not?
19th November was International Men's Day. I wonder how many people were aware of it, or, if they were, that the day has existed since 1992 - over thirty years. Unlike the women's counterpart, however, International Men's Day is barely publicised, nor even officially recognised by the United Nations. Again, one is tempted to ask, why not? According to its official description, as well as an occasion to celebrate boys' and men's lives, achievements and contributions “....it is....a global awareness day for many issues that men face, including parental alienation, abuse, homelessness, suicide, and violence.”
Similarly, Men's cancers used to be quietly "swept under the carpet." Fortunately, now they are acknowledged and talked about; for example, November is the month of "Movember" - Men's Health Awareness Month. Charities such as the ManKind Initiative now exist to offer help and support for male victims of domestic abuse. No-one should be ashamed. And, clearly, it is needed, as the official statistics reveal below:
- According to the Crime Survey for England and Wales (CSEW), 3 in 100 men aged 16 and over experienced domestic abuse in the year ending March 2023.
- According to the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention, about one in three men have experienced intimate partner violence, including physical violence, sexual violence, and/or stalking.
- One in every six men will experience domestic abuse in their lifetime.
- One in every five men who experience abuse from their partner do so for more than one year.
- One man is killed by a current or ex-partner every fortnight.
It is a horrific crime which can happen to anyone - women, children or men - so all domestic violence should be condemned. It is in this spirit that I, on behalf of the Havering Conservative Council Group, will be bringing forward an amendment to the Labour Group’s motion at Full Council this evening (Wednesday 15th January 2025) to recognise that Domestic Violence cannot, and must not, be treated as a female-only issue.
